Talk nerdy to me
by Dorian Windslasher
Summary: Some evils are far too powerful to be slain. Grammar is without a doubt the most fearsome one.


A/n: This is what happens when you're studying grammar and your concentration slips.

* * *

"Yepp. I'm screwed." Buffy looked at the notepad in her lap, page after page of neatly organised nonsense. She groaned and threw it aside.

"No you're not," Willow insisted firmly, picking it up from the floor and thrusting it back into her hands.

"It's not that difficult, really."

Buffy scowled at the notepad, then at Willow.

"It's evil," she insisted. "It's evil grammar. I should be slaying it."

Her friend rolled her eyes, settling next to her the narrow bed. Their arms brushed together and Buffy immediately felt uncomfortable.

It wasn't a bad feeling, by common definition. Quite the contrary in fact. But when it was directed towards your best friend and roomie, who also happened to be a girl. Well, it kind of sucked.

Roomieness had gotten more complicated because of it, that was for sure.

What with the changing in front of one another and the utter lack of privacy for those post-slay wind-down sessions, her hormones really weren't happy with her.

"The test is tomorrow," Willow noted. "And if you think you're copying off me, missy, you're wrong."

There was a playfully stern smile on her face that Buffy took to mean 'You're a dummy but I still love you.'

"You just need to find your study method," she continued in that same voice she'd used many times before during their high school cram sessions. Her expression turned thoughtful.

"Maybe we need to try a new approach."

Buffy waited. Willow was in full thought mode and she knew better than to interrupt that.

Besides, with the test tomorrow and her completely clueless, it couldn't hurt.

"Ooh!" The red-head's face brightened. "Carrot and stick!"

Buffy frowned.

"What?"

Willow was clearly several steps ahead already, but backtracked to explain.

"The carrot's reward and the stick is punishment. It's a basic principle for encouraging progress and discouraging unwanted behaviour."

The slayer's frown deepened.

"Uhm... Will. You're going to punish me if I get things wrong?"

She raised both her eyebrows, a smirk growing on her lips as her friend blushed.

"Maybe not... Exactly... Like that."

Her face was starting to resemble a tomato, but Buffy was having way too much fun to let her off the hook.

"And with a stick? That's kinda kinky, Will."

"Not like that!" Willow leaned over her to reach the drawer and as a result, gave Buffy a faceful of boobs. Really, really nice ones, at that. That green top really worked well for her. If only she would wear it in public the guys would be lining up... Why was she glad she didn't?

"Found it!" Willow announced, pulling back with a huge pack of gummy bears from Buffy's hidden stash. So much for that secret. She tried not to show her terror when she realized that her friend might know of what else she kept hidden for post-slayage... An item that'd be hell of a lot more awkward if it were discovered.

"That's the carrot, then?" Buffy noted. "If you think you're putting me over your lap when I get something wrong, you can forget it."

Why oh why did the prospect of that actually send excited tingles down her spine?

Something really had to be wrong with her.

Willow's blush intensified, but she collected herself as she went into teacher-mode.

"I'll work something out." Then her voice took a surprisingly bold teasing note. "If you're a good little girl then maybe I won't have to."

A traitorous shudder ran through Buffy's body again, all the way down to her toes.

"Alright, let's do it."

They settled on the bed, indian-style opposite one another.

"Give me a noun."

Buffy rolled her eyes and poked Willow in the gut. She giggled, then scowled as if trying to make up for her slip out of character.

"A stomach," the slayer announced.

"Good." Willow threw a gummy bear, which the slayer caught in her mouth.

Yummy.

"How about an adjective?"

Buffy tapped her friend's freckled nose more carefully.

"Cute."

"Uh, yeah." Willow fumbled with a second gummy bear and tossed it at Buffy, who gracefully leaned to the left and caught it. "I suppose you've got the basics."

She cleared her throat.

"What's a subordinator?"

Buffy's mouth ran away from her.

"No idea, but it sounds kinky. Maybe something your vampy doppelganger taught you?"

Her friend groaned and pushed away a stray lock of hair from her forehead. Which was good, because Buffy had been a few seconds from leaning over to do it herself.

"Buffy..."

"Sorry. I don't know. I just don't get it. Where would I ever use this stuff?"

Willow's brow furrowed in thought.

"Seriously," Buffy continued, "There's no way we'd use any of the stuff in an every day conversation."

"There is," Willow insisted, pouting.

Buffy grinned playfully. "Alrighty. Pretend I'm some cutie at The Bronze."

Her voice dropped to a lower huskier note. "Talk nerdy to me, Will."

For a moment, her friend just stared and the few seconds she did, Buffy realized how close they were sitting. Then Willow returned the smirk, leaned in close enough for her lips to brush Buffy's ear... And whispered in a low sexy voice.

"You can be the subject complement to my intensive verb group any day, baby."

Buffy would never, despite Willow's insistence, admit to having been seduced by grammar... But she had been.


End file.
